Cold

I don't cry when I should.  I don't show emotion when I should.  If I do it tends to be the wrong emotion. But I do sometimes get it right.  I'm so cold.  If someone wants to get to know me they have to push through all the blocks I've put up and my general anger and/or uncaring, something most don't care to do.  Even with my best friend of three years I can get aggressive.  I don't mean what I say to him and luckily he knows that.  My coldness is unpredictable.  Sometimes it's there and sometimes it's not.  When it's not there I can be fun and free spirited.  But when it is I don't give a shit about anything and can get aggressive, usually just verbally.  It can switch even in the middle of a conversation.  I don't do it on purpose, it's just become who I am.  What I've been through has made me believe that showing emotion is a weakness.  I know that's not true.  But I can't do anything about it.  Take it or leave it...

It doesn't matter whether something should or shouldn't, it's whether it does or doesn't.
And there's no changing that.